


kinda crazy you're making me (got me losin' my cool)

by everyotherfreckle



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-28
Updated: 2015-12-28
Packaged: 2018-05-09 05:55:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5528555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everyotherfreckle/pseuds/everyotherfreckle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"so rey's back."</p><p>finn's instinctual reaction is to let out a loud whoo and pump his fist in the air, and it's only by some small miracle that he ends up doing neither.</p><p>;;</p><p>or the one where rey comes back, finn realizes he has no idea how to kiss and he's just trying to be cool about it all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	kinda crazy you're making me (got me losin' my cool)

**Author's Note:**

> title from born's 'fool'!

"So Rey's back."

Finn's instinctual reaction is to let out a loud _whoo_ and pump his fist in the air, and it's only by some small miracle that he ends up doing neither.

He does fall off of his bunk, – which hurts his still healing back, but whatever – though, so. There's that.

When he regains his composure and stands, Poe's leaning against the doorjamb looking far too smug for Finn's liking and BB-8's spinning himself silly at Finn's feet.

"Oh," Finn says casually, dusting off the fronts of his pants. "That's, um – that's nice. She's been gone a while so it'll be nice to – to catch up and whatnot."

Poe chuckles to himself and Finn really wants to hit him. "You're trying to be cool about this but I can see the love in your eyes. It is truly adorable."

Finn huffs. This is far from the first time Poe's teased him about Rey, especially considering how she seems to be the one he calls out for whenever he's having a particularly terrible dream, but it's the first time he's ever used the word love. And, really, it's a pointless teasing tactic because Finn doesn't even know what love is. He has an idea of what it is, sure, but he has no idea how to discern if he loves Rey.

As far as he’s concerned, Rey is just a friend he cares about in a way he’s never cared about anything or anyone before.

Totally casual.

Poe should stop making a big deal out it.

“Anyway,” Poe starts once he realizes Finn probably won’t stop glaring at him anytime soon. “She’s talking with the General now so if you – ”

Finn nods and mutters thanks before pushing past Poe and heading into the heart of the base to seek out Rey.

BB-8’s at his heels, beeping and spinning in a way Finn doesn’t totally understand but he’s not just going to ignore the little droid.

“I know, I know,” he soothes, trying to calm BeBe down a bit. “I’m excited to see her too.”

BeBe beeps and spins again before speeding off in front of them and coming to a stop right at Rey’s feet. Finn doesn’t remember stopping but it’s a moment before he realizes his feet haven’t actually moved.

It’s been so long since he’s seen her he almost can’t believe she’s actually here. _She’s here_. He can reach out and touch her – if she doesn’t hit him for it, of course – and it’s all a little overwhelming.

Leia – _the General_ – spots him before Rey does. She’s currently giving all of her attention to BB-8 because he’s a little attention hog that loves it when Rey dotes on him.

General Organa gives him a knowing smile – he’s considering the possibility she and Poe may have secret meetings to coordinate the little looks they like to give him – and nods him over.

He's only about halfway to them before Rey finally sees him and rushes toward him, flinging herself at him.

BeBe gives an unhappy sounding whirl when she stops fussing with his antenna in favor of greeting Finn, and well, the little droid needs to learn how to share better.

"Finn," she says into his shoulder. Her grip on him is actually pretty tight and he absolutely does not have the heart to tell her he can't breathe. Nor does he want to.

His arms hover a bit aimlessly for a second before finally settling around her. He doesn't remember being cold before but standing here hugging her he feels a whole lot warmer. It's the best feeling.

When she finally pulls away, she looks him up and down as if to check and see if he's in one piece. He does the same to her.

(Because she's been off training with Luke and, yeah, he's a Jedi and the General's brother, but if he let Rey get hurt he'd probably have to do something stupid like have a _very_ stern word with him.)

"I missed you."

He can't even stop himself from grinning.

Rey missed him.

Fantastic.

"I missed you too."

There's a silent moment between them where they're just enjoying being in each other's presence - she's here she's here she's really here this isn't a dream wow wow _wowwowwow_ \- before the General clears her throat.

"About that message you spoke of, Rey?" She says and it's like it suddenly hits Rey that she actually came back for a really important reason that wasn't embracing Finn for minutes on end.

Rey nods and gives him the smallest smile and his heart flips, which cannot be healthy at all. "I'll see you later?"

All Finn can do is nod because he's afraid if he opens his mouth he'll say something stupid so he sticks to nonverbal communication.

He finds his fists clenching at his sides because he really wants to reach out and pull her back because he doesn't want her to leave because what if she doesn't come back and it's all because he let her go and -

BeBe whirls and knocks into his shins and it reminds Finn that they're safe. BB-8 is whirling because he's happy and safe. Finn is safe. Poe is safe. This base is safe.

_Rey is safe._

"Come on," he beckons the droid to follow him. "She'll be fine."

But, honestly, that last bit was more for himself than BeBe.

***

The problem with being Finn - as opposed to FN-2187 - is that he doesn't exactly know _how_ to be Finn.

Not yet, at least.

Sometimes he feels like he's figuring himself out along the way. Like, he likes making people (Rey) smile and he really hates sand and he thinks orange is a nice colour and the pink fruit the General likes having at breakfast tastes amazing. He didn't actually know any of that until he thought about it, which gets him thinking again.

How is he going to play this?

He knows how FN-2187 would play this. FN-2187 would wait for orders on how to play this.

Finn has free will. Finn can do whatever he wants.

And Finn has no idea what he wants to do.

Except, maybe, get Rey to smile that smile where the corners of her eyes crinkle and maybe hug him again. Yeah. Finn wants that.

"Did you tell her you missed her?" Poe asks after a long while of just sitting there and tinkering with BeBe.

Finn hums and fidgets with the zipper on the pocket on the side of his pants.

"Did you _show_ her you missed her?" Poe asks, this time with a wiggle of his eyebrows. BeBe whirls a bit frantically.

"Maybe? I mean – I guess so. We hugged." Finn shrugs and Poe makes an indignant noise.

Poe leans back in his chair, caging his hands behind his head. "Should've kissed her."

Finn sputters, almost chokes and almost dies. Only not really.

"The General was standing _right there_."

He doesn't mention how he doesn't even really know how to kiss. He understands the basics, sure, - lips on lips and all that good stuff - but he's positive there's more to it than just that. Plus he's not sure Rey would even _want_ to kiss him.

"Still," Poe hums. "Should've kissed her."

BB-8 can't stop whirling.

***

When Finn sees Rey again – apparently relaying whatever message took near two hours – it's just the two of them. No General. No Poe. No BeBe.

She smiles and waves as she approaches and he almost crushes what he's got in his hand, behind his back.

"Hi." He says because he likes to remind himself he can actually say that to her because she's actually here.

"What do you have behind your back?" She asks with a curious raise of her eyebrow.

He's built this up a bit in his head so he's trying to make the moment perfect but, honestly, she's here so it's automatically already perfect. So he just starts talking.

"Here," he hands her the three yellow flowers he had clutched in his hand. She's looking at them and she knows what they mean but he's gonna tell her anyway. "I remember you told me about where you lived on Jakku and you said you had some flowers that you liked but they were a little less than alive and I noticed these grew in a little spot behind the base so I thought you would like them."

She's tearing up. On no. She hates it. It's making her sad. It's reminding her of Jakku, which is reminding her of her family, which is making her sad. He's so…he should've thought this through better.

Wait. She's sneezing now. She's sneezing and crying. He's the worst friend ever.

"Finn," his name leaves her mouth as a sort of giggle. Now she's laughing? She hates it so much she finds it hilarious. _Great_. "Finn this is very lovely of you, but – " she sneezes again. "I think I'm allergic."

Allergic. The flowers are making her eyes water and they're making her sneeze and the whole situation is making her laugh.

Okay. Maybe he's _not_ the worst.

"Oh!" He quickly grabs them from her and places them a bit unceremoniously on a nearby table. "Sorry! I didn't know. I just saw they were yellow and pretty and – "

He stops because her hand finds his and he's kind of focused on their intertwined fingers right now.

"And you thought of me? Thought I'd might like them?" She finishes for him and he just nods sheepishly. She's been getting pretty good at that, knowing what he's trying to say. "They're perfect."

 _Like you_ , he considers saying but that sounds stupid and she’d probably find it stupid and stupid really isn’t what he’s going for right now.

They both go silent and the moment feels anticipatory. Finn’s kind of just standing there waiting for the other shoe to drop. Because this is usually the part where the General comes in and asks Rey to do something important or BB-8 comes rolling in needing Rey to fix his antenna or Poe ‘accidentally’ walks in and teases the two of them about the way they’re just standing there holding hands or –

“Finn?” Here it comes. She’s about to tell him she’s leaving again or that she found some other guy out there while she was training that actually _knows_ what to do in moments like these.

“Yeah?”

“Can, um – I have a question.”

“Okay.”

“Don’t freak out or anything, okay?”

Well _now_ he’s probably gonna freak out regardless.

“I can’t promise anything but I’ll try.”

She bites her bottom lip and his heart flutters. Again.

“Can I kiss you?”

It’s embarrassing – it’s so, _so_ embarrassing – but Finn actually pinches himself on the leg with his free hand. This just cannot be real. The day’s events have been way too highly in his favour. He does not have that kind of luck. He must still be in a medically induced coma and this is some strange fever dream. It’s the only explanation, really.

“Or not.” Rey goes pink and ducks her head and Finn wants to kick himself. “I just – Leia said something about not being afraid to express your feelings because life is short and war is coming and it’s only going to make life shorter so I thought – it was stupid, I’m sorry.”

“Yes!” He blurts out before realizing that probably wasn’t the smartest thing to do. “I mean, not yes as in that was stupid, but yes as in, you can absolutely kiss me.”

She smiles. “Alright. Let’s – yeah.”

Finn plants his feet – for some odd reason; its not as if he’s going to float away…maybe – and Rey leans in and he closes his eyes – because the one time he saw two people kiss their eyes were closed – and briefly wonders if he should maybe pucker or something and –

Okay. _Okay_.

Their kiss is chaste, very quick. It doesn’t last more than maybe fifteen seconds – he was _not_ counting, promise – and it isn’t anything like the kiss he saw that one time. There’s no excessive head movement or open mouths, – which is good because he is _really_ not ready for that – just a simple kiss. Lips on lips, just like he thought it would be.

Rey’s completely flushed and Finn thinks it the cutest thing.

“That was nice.” She says, biting her lip again. _Wow,_  he wants to kiss her again.

“Really nice.” He agrees.

She hesitates a moment. “We should do it again.”

“Completely agree.”

“Maybe not here, though.”

“Someone could see.”

“Do you have your own quarters?”

“With a lock and everything.”

Finn makes a mental note to thank General Organa at some point.

**Author's Note:**

> probably super ooc and also terrible af but i just had to write something about them bc their relationship is literally the cutest oKAY.
> 
> anyway, kudos/reviews are always super appreciated! thanks for reading!


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